I know, I know. It’s your favorite day of the month! Mine, too!
Me: “Did you wash your hands?”
The Artist: “Yes.”
Me: (feeling her hands and realizing they are exceptionally dry and eying her suspiciously)
The Artist: “I used a lot of paper towels and dried them really good.”
Me: “So if I go to the bathroom, will I find a lot of wet paper towels?”
The Artist: “Yes.”
Me: (gets up)
The Artist: “Wait, wait. I put them back in the silver holder so that’s where they are.”
She went in time out.
Me: “Darling, did you go poo poo?”
The Engineer: “No.”
Me: “Let me check you.”
The Engineer: “No, no, no. Shoo! Shoo, Mommy!”
Me: “The person who sings this song is Gwen Stefani.”
The Artist: “Gwen Stefani? Is that Spanish?”
The Artist: “I’m trying to talk to Jesus. HELLOOOO! Jesus???!!! HELLLLOOOO.”
(eating ice cream)
The Engineer: “It’s SOOOOOO good.”
(listening to “What Does the Fox Say?”)
The Engineer: “I LOVE this song!”
(after bedtime)
The Artist: “I was looking for you. Y’all (me and her sister) left that kitty cat book in my room.”
Me: “it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
The Artist: “Well, I stepped on it.”
Me: “You shouldn’t be stepping on it. You should be in bed.”
*crickets*
Judith P Roberts 