I hate potty training. It’s pretty much the bane of my parenting existence. We struggled with The Artist. Stttrrruuugggggggggllleeeddd. I had a friend whose kid was potty trained before she turned 2. The Artist’s other friends were all potty trained around 2 ½. The Artist? A solid 3 – really closer to 3 ½.
Y’all. I stressed so much about that potty training. I worried that she’d be in a pull-up so long there wouldn’t be pull-ups in her size. I worried that putting her in a pull-up had forever wrecked her bathroom abilities. I worried that because we attempted potty training before she was 2, she would never get it – or not soon enough to go to preschool.
Obviously, I’ve got some issues to work out because The Artist is fabulously potty trained now. Girl’s got it covered. She good. And has been for a while.
But all these things you see online and that you hear can stress you out: Never put your kid in a pull-up! He’ll be using them in college if you do! Potty train your kid in three days! Potty train over the weekend! Snap your fingers and your kid is magically potty trained! Potty train? My kid trained himself!
Here’s the thing, mamas: you are fine. Your kid is fine. It will be okay. He will get it. And if he has an accident? He’s a kid. That’s what happens. You deal with it and move on.
The Artist had a lovely MDO teacher who, right before our daughter’s third birthday, said, “Listen. Send her in panties. She’s ready, and it’s fine.”
Me, nervous as always, asked, “But what if she has an accident?”
Her teacher shrugged. “It’s fine. We’re used to it. She’ll be fine.”
And she was. Wisdom and guidance from others. It’s critical to thriving as a mom. Find someone who gives you good advice, who is willing to help you during those down times, and listen. Because The Artist DID get it. She was ready. And she was fine.
So after all the stress with The Artist, along came The Engineer.
That kid wanted to be potty trained at 22 months. Seriously. Would take off her diaper and run to the toilet. She just wanted to be potty trained earlier than The Artist.
Let me emphasize here: The Engineer wanted to be PT at 22 months and we basically threatened that Santa wouldn’t come see The Artist at 3 ½ (okay, we straight up told her that) if she wasn’t completely pull-up free. That doesn’t mean that The Engineer is more advanced than The Artist. We definitely see things already that our younger girl does that is more advanced than our older child, but our older child excelled in things that the younger one has not. Every child is different. And our older one just had no interest in going potty.
The Engineer, though…that girl should have been my first.
I have been SO LAZY potty training her. I really have. She had the concept down before I “formally” began working with her over the summer, but between camps and events and going places, I just was lazy. I threw that pull-up on her every time we left the house. Because I remembered when The Artist had an accident at a restaurant…or at Walmart…or in the car. And, honestly, I just didn’t want to deal with it.
So this poor baby hasn’t gotten the same treatment, but she does get it. She still has accidents at school, but I am so proud of how well she’s doing. And, yes, I still put her in a pull-up when we go out in public because, no, I don’t want to deal with cleaning up an accident on Aisle 5.
And you know what? I’m okay with that. And I have a pretty good feeling that Santa is going to visit two little girls who are both completely out of pull-ups this Christmas.
And if we aren’t? That’s okay, too.
Note: Mommy shaming is not allowed here. Only love and support for all parents. I’ll say it like Thumper told Bambi, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”